Grief Is Love: Living with Loss
Book by Marisa Renee Lee
DETAILS
Publisher : Legacy Lit (April 12, 2022) Language : English Hardcover : 192 pages ISBN-10 : 0306926024 ISBN-13 : 978-0306926020 Item Weight : 10.7 ounces Dimensions : 5.8 x 1 x 8.55 inches Best Sellers Rank: #24,022 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #45 in Grief & Bereavement #64 in Love & Loss #93 in Black & African American Biographies , A trusted grief expert shares what Kirkus Reviews praises as “calm, lucid prose… [a] humanizing exploration of coping with the life-changing tides of loss.” In Grief is Love , author Marisa Renee Lee reveals that healing does not mean moving on after losing a loved one — healing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief. It is about learning to love the one you lost with the same depth, passion, joy, and commitment you did when they were alive, perhaps even more. She guides you through the pain of grief—whether you’ve lost the person recently or long ago—and shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and debunks the idea of a grief stages or timelines. Grief is Love is about making space for the transformation that a significant loss requires. In beautiful, compassionate prose, Lee elegantly offers wisdom about what it means to authentically and defiantly claim space for grief’s complicated feelings and emotions. And Lee is no stranger to grief herself, she shares her journey after losing her mother, a pregnancy, and, most recently, a cousin to the COVID-19 pandemic. These losses transformed her life and led her to question what grief really is and what healing actually looks like. In this book, she also explores the unique impact of grief on Black people and reveals the key factors that proper healing requires: permission, care, feeling, grace and more. The transformation we each undergo after loss is the indelible imprint of the people we love on our lives, which is the true definition of legacy. At its core, Grief is Love explores what comes after death, and shows us that if we are able to own and honor what we’ve lost, we can experience a beautiful and joyful life in the midst of grief. Read more
REVIEW
"I was forced to start learning how to live without her," Lee writes, about losing her mother at age twenty-five. The author explores what it means to be so fundamentally changed when we lose people we love, and how impossible it seems to continue in your old patterns once you lose a person. "Losing my mother meant losing myself too. Who would I be without my mother?" I find myself seeking and searching for more writing on grief, on loss, and on navigating what it means to live the next chapter of your life. For me, as a new mother, living in Covid has meant a loss of a life I knew and sifting into the reality of what is. I find comfort in reading other people's stories, because it tells me that I am not alone. What I love most about this book is how Lee shines a light on what grief can look like, and all of the things that it IS. How grief affects our bodies, our brains, our emotions. How grief can show up as anger, frustration, even shame. How grief can linger and last forever, and how grief is not "tidy" and doesn't resolve itself according to anyone else's timelines. What this book makes space for, and why it's so important, is to talk about who gets to grieve and when we're allowed to grieve. In talking about how hard it can be to grieve—because it's so vulnerable, so all-encompassing, so hard—she reminds us that people need safety and space to grieve. That safety and space is often not afforded to Black women. To Black women and people of color, she says: your grief is very real. Lee gives you permission to feel what you actually feel, and reminds us that grief can be disorienting, staggering, and unexpected. Sorrow is a companion to love, and these great holes in our hearts are related to just how much love we've had in our lifetime. I deeply appreciate her tenderness in talking about grief as it relates to love, and how your grief, whatever it looks like, is uniquely yours. I also want to add a note (added a few weeks later) about respecting and honoring each person's individual grief story. Marisa Renee is Black woman in a world of whiteness, and she shares her own story and experiences with us. Several reviewers are clearly very uncomfortable with her mentioning race at all, which is so strange, because it is part of HER identity and her experience in the world. If you're uncomfortable reading a story about a Black woman and all that she's learned about grief, that is about you and your feelings of discomfort, not about the stories being shared. So often, the world wants to pretend that race doesn't exist, or that whiteness doesn't exist, but pretending something doesn't exist doesn't make it not real. Just like grief, race is something that many people are new to learning about, and this book does a wonderful job of exploring what it feels like to grieve in a world that is still uncomfortable with feelings and wants things to be neat, tidy, and finished. Grief is never finished, she write. And that's okay. Because to grieve is to love.
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